


Are you okay?

by HSV0L6



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Gen, Letters, Mentions of Panic Attacks, POV First Person, Sad Ending, Too many tags?, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26559769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSV0L6/pseuds/HSV0L6
Summary: "Hey! I saw you smiling today! I totally forgot how amazing your smile was. I'm so happy you feel better, and I hope you tell me who managed to make you smile FINALLY! Okay, gotta rush, bye."or-The one where K writes letters to Z, and Z doesn't write back but K keeps trying. Will she give up?
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 5





	Are you okay?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my first work ever! I really got nothing more than to say than this story is kind of really personal to me.  
> and, PLEASE READ TRIGGERS IN TAGS!  
> I'll not keep you here too long, thank you for clicking on this, means a ton to me :)

_January 20, 2020_

Hey Z.

You seem a little off today. Well, to be honest, most of the days recently. What's wrong? You've also been eating lot less. Lost your appetite? That's not like you... Z, you look _sad._ I'm worried about you. I can tell everything's not alright, but I don't know how messed up it is. Whatever it is Z, it'll pass. You _know_ it isn't gonna be this way always! It also looks like you've been really worried about all this 'mess' affecting your studies... those worry lines seem engraved on your forehead. You look like my grumpy grandpa! 

Z, don't _kill_ yourself with all the worry! You're losing yourself, you're fading away in front of my eyes. ~~You look dead.~~ How stressed are you? Please don't worry yourself so much, I care for you. 

Take care, Z.

Yours, K xxx.

* * *

_February 3, 2020_

Hey Z,

I spoke to you yesterday. You tried _so hard_ not to cry. I held your hand, it was freezing cold. I could see it on your face, you haven't slept in ages. Please, try to sleep. I know it must be really hard, but promise me you'll try? You said you're having panic attacks very often. How often? Once a week? Does it happen at night? Is anyone with you to calm you down and bring you back? This is scaring me so much. Please, talk to someone when you feel the anxiety creeping up. Call me. Anytime. I'll be there.

You were so weak; I couldn't bear to look at you. Why do you look so... _dead_? I'm starting to hate myself for not being able to help. You said you feel like your brain's shutting down. Well, you need energy to function, dummy. You don't eat, you don't sleep, you're putting your body through hell. Please try to be normal. You'll be okay, I know that. You're so strong.

Take care, Z.

Yours, K xxx.

* * *

_February 11, 2020_

Hi.

Are you okay? It's been 9 days since we last spoke. 8 days since I last wrote to you. You never write back to me. This was _your_ idea, remember? Anyways, talk to me soon. Please be okay.

K x.

* * *

_March 4, 2020_

Hey Z.

I spoke to you, FINALLY, after a month. You almost seemed lifeless. All I ever get from you now is a nod or a shrug. I'm actually so worried. You said you never felt so helpless before. But, I'm right here, aren't I? We're right here to help you, you just don't _say_ anything. ~~You can really try harder, you know?~~ I honestly don't know what to do, now that even F.R.I.E.N.D.S can't make you smile. I got you a huge box of Twix bars the other day, you didn't even touch them. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? 

I really don't know what to do, please let me help you, don't push me away. I care about you so much, I hate to see you like this. Please write back, I'll be waiting.

Take care, love.

Yours always, K xxx.

* * *

_March 25, 2020_

Hey.

You left your phone in class yesterday. I went through your texts (sorry ;p) No one texts you anymore... Why? I don't know. I realized even I left you on read. Sorry! Maybe everyone's just too busy, don't think too much about it. Also, you wear the same clothes every other day. Let's go shopping, maybe? I know you have a _huge_ wardrobe, I'm even jealous of it! Why don't you use it, ugh. I think they've grown loose on you? Have you been working out, hmm? ;) Anywaysss, let's go shopping please, please, _please?_

Also, when I came to return your phone yesterday, I heard your mom yelling. Is she still being difficult? I know you're used to it anyways, I'm sure it doesn't even bother you. See you tomorrow at school? And then shopping, hmm? :) 

Ily!

K xxx.

* * *

_May 6, 2020_

Heyyy Z,

I saw you smiling today! I totally forgot how amazing your smile was. I've missed it so much, Z. I'm so happy you feel better, and I hope you tell me soon who managed to make you smile! Okay, I gotta rush babes, byeeee.

K.

* * *

_June 2, 2020_

Dude, where are you? It's been 2 weeks since you last came to school. You don't pick my calls, you don't answer your door...what the _hell_ , man? Look, I have sooo many more things to do; but I make it a point to check on you from time to time. ~~Don't be a dickhead~~ It's not fair for you to just cut me off and push me away. I have many people to fuss over, and they actually appreciate my love and reciprocate, ~~unlike you~~ I get sad too, I have off days too, there are times I want to be alone, with myself and everyone has days where they just need to be with themselves. But you're being so selfish and stubborn. Everyone has somebody to talk to and to tell them _it's gonna be alright_ when they're feeling low. You literally have no one, nobody gives a fuck anymore, so I thought I'd help. And this is what I get?

You know what, fuck you. I guess you have somebody else to fuss over you and someone to talk to, since you NEVER write back to me and you don't give a flying fuck about how much I'm hurting because of you. Yes, I'm so worried and I spent so many months wondering where it went wrong, what I did to make you push me away. But now I know you're just being selfish and ungrateful. 

I'm never writing to you again. Goodbye, you've been pain in the ass.

K.

* * *

_June 9, 2020_

Hey Z.

I got to know you killed yourself last night.

I didn't see this coming. I don't know what to do now. I realized I was no better, no different that the others who were hurting you. I can't stop crying. You didn't deserve to die; ~~you were so strong.~~ You're so strong. 

I got to know that you were smiling the other day, looking at our picture from 7 years ago. When we first became best friends and got matching onsies, we went to the mall and asked my mum to click a picture of us in the ball pit. We look so happy. You look so happy. We're holding each other so tight, like we might slip away if we let go.

I let go, didn't I? I should've held on a little bit longer, a little bit tighter, for the both of us. I let you go, and you slipped away. I let you go. Why did I let you go? Why? Why, Z. _why?_ I'm such a piece of shit. I can't stop crying. Come back to me. Please, please, come back to me. I'm sorry. I'll be there for you, just come back. I love you so much, Z.

Are you okay? Are you okay? Please be okay.

Yours forever and always, K xxx.

* * *

_**The end.** _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm so sorry it ended this way but not all stories have happy endings, and it is important to not give up on people, they might be hanging on by a very, very, very thin thread and anything and anyone can snap it. Please be kind to people and spread love!  
> I love you all, beautiful souls, thank you for reading <3


End file.
